The Telephone Girl
David Nixon
 
The girl who sits in her chair
And listens to voices from everywhere
She knows who is happy and who has the blues
She knows all the gossip, she knows all the news,
She knows our sorrows, she knows our joys
She knows the girls who are playing with boys;
And knows each excuse every fellow employs.
She knows our troubles, she knows our strife,
She knows the man who is mean to his wife.
If the telephone girl should tell what she knows,
She would turn our friends into bitterest foes,
She would a wind that would soon be a gale,
Engulf us in trouble and land us in jail,
That would start a story, that, gaining in force,
Would cause many wives to sue for divorce.
She could turn our day into sorrowing night;
If she told one-tenth of the things she knew.
Gee, doesn't it make your head just whirl,
When you think what we owe to the telephone girl.